- Love and marriage in Turkey: culture, customs and tradition - Property Turkey;
- Dating Customs and Traditions in Turkey – Love and Weddings.
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Many couples choose to have a religious ceremony a few days before the legal ceremony, where they invite family and friends to a service and then reception - much like western-style weddings. Three nights before the wedding, the women gather together for the henna evening.
The bride will wear a purple or red dress, and a red veil. The hand is wrapped in gauze and a red glove until the henna sets. On the third night, the official wedding takes place. On the morning of the official ceremony, the groom and his groomsmen put the Turkish flag in front of the soon-to-be marital Turkish villa , accompanied by drumming and pipes.
Sex and Dating in Turkey - SheRa
Sometimes, children follow the cars or even sit in front of them, waiting for the passengers to hand out envelopes of money. Turks adore children, and the idea of anyone not wanting to have children is unfathomable. Upon announcing a pregnancy, a mother in law will gift a golden bracelet to the expectant mother. In rural areas pregnant women declare their status with symbols on her clothing.
Love and marriage in Turkey
This undoubtedly comes from the days where infant mortality was greater due to disease and poor sanitation. Chestnut, mulberry and apple trees for girls; poplar or pine for boys. For Lifestyle and Investment info propertyturkey. Residency permits in Turkey Work permits in Turkey. Bringing your pets into Turkey Bringing your car into Turkey. Retire to low cost of living in Turkey Healthcare in Turkey. Kalkan for holiday home and investment.
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I think its part of the male plan to seem a provider but this often backfires when those on lower paid wages cannot be open, honest or realistic about what they can afford and what they cannot. Meals out cost a huge ammount for some and many with low paid jobs would find the dating game really hard to keep up with especially if any alcoholic drinks are purchased.
So someone who is truly honest about this is someone worth keeping Lingo barriers are one thing but arguements about money are another. Often the generosity of many turks becomes their downfal in terms of keeping finances in check You are right Lucid about being realistic about money. A lot of us with T partners have seen them or their family spend money or run up bills without thinking how they are going to pay them and then expect the rich?? When dating a person here you need to know about their family, are they the only one in the family working so are contributing to goodness how many relatives?
This can be a big problem because the family, especially parents expect to be looked after in their old age, no matter how hard up you are. The visitors are not expected to contribute other than possibly take a present of some sort. This is by no means aimed at anyone here or the situation you've asked about LinP , but it touches a nerve with me, given the tales I've heard over the years.
The Milk Bottle on the Rooftop
It's precisely that cultural grey area that the 'Rat' contingent and their family seek to exploit. Oh, or he's sorry that he's been out of touch for a few days, but his mobile is old and doesn't always work properly.
And yet, I've never seen the same guys unable to afford a packet of cigarettes, and if they were able to afford the first mobile? My advice to girls who post up on sites asking whether their guy could be hinting for money is to develop a very thick skin. The Rat plan only works when the girl gives in and decides that she can afford it better than him, or that she'd like to treat him.
Before you know it, she's financing the relationship. Realistically, there does come a point where the more affluent partner might need to contribute something - but for me that point comes a long way down the road. When my hubby and I got together, I let him pay for everything and if he couldn't afford a hotel bill, the trip had to be postponed until he could. I did pay for my airfare except when I was going over with work , but that was it.
That might not work for everyone, and perhaps it is a little simplistic - but deciding about who pays for things is also about what sort of partner you want. Maybe I'm old fashioned or even a bit over confident! I was looking for a man who would take pride in looking after a woman - and it must have paid off, as that's very much the person he is. Before meeting Oz, I had dated a Turkish guy whom I met on holiday.
His attitude to finances was one of the reasons why I decided it wouldn't work out. He was very irresponsible with money, and stupidly I fell into the trap of colluding with it. I'm embarrassed to say that on one trip, I passed him the cost of our meal so that he could be seen to pay and save face.
I knew I'd given him a bit extra, and I was embarrassed and annoyed that he didn't pass me back the change afterwards, and quite happily spent it on cigarettes for himself and pocketted the rest. Unfortunately, it's this sort of willingness to be sensitive to culture and sympathetic about perceived poverty that play right into the hands of the less honourable Turkish man.
There's always a show of being annoyed about a woman paying you break my heart Sorry if I sound cynical, and I definitely do not believe that we should approach all Turkish men with distrust, but I also think it's good to point out the scams so that if something similar does happen, a person can proceed with caution.
A very good post from you Sirin as usual. I've got a couple of very nice and clever men friends here but they are friends and nothing more. The minute a romantic agenda appears, all this poverty pleading palaver appears. I dated two guys who had both loaned money to friends who'd scarpered and they were then left unable even to pay for the price of a coffee. I had a very long relationship with one of these liars and as you said, I ended up financing the relationship because if not he said he couldn't afford to meet me etc.
In the end I found out where his money was going - on the wife and family he'd carelessly forgotten to mention! Basically, that experience and similar ones of friends and other people I've heard about put me off Turkish men for life as romantic prospects. Except in my case the guy was only 4 years younger than me - I never see the fascination in young boys that some European women who come here have: And neither am I 60 so i presume you weren't using me as an example: However getting back to the person who started this thread, I am curious but wouldn't be so indelicate as to ask outright what the age difference is with them.
If she's been here 12 years and got Turkish citizenship etc then unless she moved out here and bought her house when she was 21 unlikely since most people have money after their parents die or they have sold a property which usually happens in middle age well Often men here are legally married and the wife is part of the plot.
The money and gifts go to her or they sell them. But in the long term as you know big age gaps don't work especially with people from different backgrounds. Talk about learn how the other half live. It also taught me how the other half can choose to live as we refused to get in debt and live beyond our means. We stand by that now and as a team we do pretty well It will be different for you guys, as you live over there - but many tourists make the mistake of judging a whole country's national characteristics based only on those who work in resorts.
By definition, resorts are all geared around viewing tourists and visitors as opportunities to make a living. When I first started going regularly to Turkey, I made friends with some of the reps and English business owners. I thought myself a little wiser than 'tourists' and we would sometimes talk a little smugly, I confess about how we could see through the scams and how well we felt we were getting along with the locals. We knew about the 2 prices in the shops - one for tourists and one for locals - and we were of the belief that we were getting the locals' rates, and that we were no longer likely to be taken advantage of.
Of course this was what we wanted to believe Why were the employees of the business owners taking their wages and tips but not bringing in the business or working for the English woman, and having sly drinks? And why was my so-called boyfriend taking me to his friends' shops to buy gifts to take home - knowing full well that he would get commission from them later?
Because we were still foreign, still tourists and still naive. And because this behaviour is so entrenched in resorts that many people there don't even justify it any more. They regarded us as having more money them, so there was no guilt at making us pay more for things that we could afford. On the other hand, I have a friend who has lived in Turkey for years who is very clearly part of the local scene. She's well loved and respected, and the friendships and relationships she has formed are with the more mature and I don't just mean older!
She knows families, not just the front of house workers and her level of Turkish means she's unlikely to be taken advantage of easily.
More Dating Customs in Turkey
It's wrong that people moving to Turkey should have to be so wary - and it must be awful to have to question whether a friend or potential romantic partner sees you as a tourist or respects you as an equal. But much as I know for sure that most Turkish people are NOT like this, I don't believe we can honestly say that most people in resorts aren't. Forewarned is forearmed though.
If you know what to look out for, and the other person hasn't done any of this, there's no use assuming they will - you could miss out on someone genuine.