I attended a party where a friend of a friend expressed his interest in me. I kept trying to explain that I was seeing someone politely saying i wasn't interested but he kept trying to make passes and my friends were egging him on. He was furious my friend put me in that situation and stayed on the phone with me until I was sober enough to drive home and was safe.
My friends keep insisting that if the person I am seeing wanted me to be his girlfriend that he would have made it clear and that I should continue to date other people. I feel like i am deep enough in with the guy I am seeing that he would be hurt if he knew I went on a date with someone else.
I also have seen a lot of my girlfriends kill great budding relationships by pushing the exclusivity topic far too soon. My friends are saying he gets another month and then its clear "hes never going to buy the cow".
Modern day relationship grey areas?
I think its ok to just keep getting to know each other and have a great time and let things evolve. I am definitely needing some advice!
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Grey area in dating
Wilde Send a private message. I think your friends are a right shower of savages. As long as you're happy with the pace of your relationship, they should get their noses out. I feel like a lot of dating rules are because it's uncomfortable to be uncertain during those early dates and months. It's a lot easier to know the other person is all in, hence all the early define the relationship and exclusive talks. But don't we just need to cope with the uncertainty, pay attention to red flags but also recognise when it's just anxiety rearing up and wait to see if we can build something real?
Share Share this post on Digg Del. I don't think the rules exist to avert ambiguity in the beginnings of a relationship.
Whether those rules existed or not, uncertainty would almost always be present in the beginning because we never fully know what it is we want until we really get to know a person. Take for example OLD. In my opinion, access to "shinier and better" items on the shelf is easier now with OLD, and this creates the illusion of uncertainty because some men still "shop around" while in the beginning stages of a relationship.
I think what the underpinnings of a relationship in its early stages is the ability to communicate mutual expectations after the first few dates. Originally Posted by lilmissjava. There's no set of rules that works for everyone. Some rules work on some guys and don't work on others. I don't follow anyone's rules but my own. If it works great, if not than I guess it wasn't meant to be. Originally Posted by Jejangles.
Yeah, I guess this is what I'm trying to get at! If I look at "dating rules" they just seem to point women towards the men who act as if they are all in from day one.
13 Signs Your Relationship Is Stuck In That Gray Area | TheTalko
But it's possible a good guy is interested with some long term potential even if he is acting a little unsure during those first few weeks or even months. He could spot some key differences, he was attracted to her but not over the top crazy in lust and he just had concerns. At some point after that first year he decided she was the one and they got married a couple of years in. For a while I thought he had settled, but now they have been married for five years and are very happy.
Originally Posted by katiegrl.
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Did he ever tell you what it was that made him decide, after an entire year of being unsure, that she was the "one"? Was there a separation, after which he realized how much he missed her and loved her? That happened to me with an ex. He was unsure after three months so we parted ways. During that time away from me complete no contact from me , he realized he was in love with me, and we were together four years after that Or, did he just wake up one morning and decide "she's the one"!
I think he pretty much woke up one morning and decided "she's the one"! He went back and forth on it for a bit and eventually decided he would be fine without them, and he would be happy with her. We now live in separate countries and did while he was dating her so I didn't get the play by play, but a mutual friend told me he had been undecided most of the year and then suddenly decided.
I guess he just chose her! And like I said, I have to admit I kind of judged it at the time because I thought he could have found someone who would offer what he thought he wanted. But now with more time passed, he is super happy, so who am I to say he didn't make the right choice? My brother is now marrying a girl who he was very unsure about the first 6 months of dating. In fact, he refused to introduce her to anyone or call her his girlfriend because he didn't feel that much of a spark.
Initially I thought that he was settling but they seem very happy. I know of countless examples like that. I also regret cutting off some guys early on in dating because they were a bit uncertain. I only date guys that are super into me from day 1, just like rule books tell you. However I find that often they are creepy, desperate or don't have much going on in their lives.
Going forward, I don't think I would follow any rules. For some men, it's like musical chairs. They keep moving until the music suddenly stops, then they grab the first chair woman nearby and settle down. It's not about finding the perfect woman, it's all about his own timing, where he is in life, career, finances, seeing all his friends hitched, etc.
As for dating, I don't believe in those rules. More sought after men and women can be more choosy.
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