Another point to consider: He may like this murkiness because it allows him to get affection and validation from two women without technically doing anything wrong. But, make no mistake. This has made it easy for him to skirt responsibility here. This situation will require you to be honest with him and more importantly, with yourself and be firm in setting boundaries.
Life is hard, but it's better when you're not alone. Sign up for our newsletter and get our Self-Care and Solidarity eBook just because we love you! Skip to main content. He is the first person I want to tell things to when something happens, and the person I want to hang out with the most. Really don't know what to do!
I need your help! You Might Also Like: Obscurity is not serving you well here. The first thing that needs to happen is an open and honest conversation. The information within Ask Erin should in no way be interpreted as medical advice because I'm not a medical professional. But I am here to help — to share with you the wisdom I've gained after years of making mistakes.
As always, your anonymity is golden. If they really are your friend, you should want to see things work out for them one way or another. If your friend has strong feelings for your crush and you interfere, you risk ending your friendship.
Does your crush seem to truly care about your friend? Are there any signs that he or she may have been interested in you? Be honest with yourself about your feelings for your crush. There are many different kinds of crushes one can have on another person. How deep are your feelings for your crush?
How well do you know him or her? If you have strong feelings you fear you may not be able to push aside, you may want to tell them the truth. If you are uncertain about your feelings, take a step back and give yourself some time.
Infatuation and love are different emotions that feel very similar. Infatuation often occurs when you are caught up in the excitement of meeting a person you like, but the feelings often lack longevity. Decide whether to tell them. You may feel the right thing to do is to tell them both the truth about your feelings, or you may think it best that you keep them to yourself. If you decide to tell them how you feel, consider talking to your friend about it first.
Depending on the situation, your friend may understand and step aside. Prepare yourself for things to go poorly if you choose to be honest. While everything may work out, you also run the risk of losing a friend and still not being able to date your crush. Remember to be sensitive to their feelings as well as your own in your decision. Remember that you have value. Find an outlet for your feelings. Find an outlet that you can use to safely express your feelings without any social fallout or embarrassment.
Get your feelings out in words to help you better understand and cope with them. If you feel like you need to cry, you should. Letting it out can make you feel much better and release tension that has built up throughout your interactions with your friend and crush. Dancing, exercising, drawing or any number of other things can serve as a creative way to express your emotions. Keep trying until you find one that fits you. They can also lead to addiction and serious health issues. Eating fattening foods and not getting any exercise can make you feel worse instead of better.
Look to other friends for support. Having a shoulder to cry on or a friendly ear to vent to can make a huge difference in how you feel when going through a difficult romantic situation. Make the conscious decision to start working on being happy again and take your happiness seriously. When you feel yourself starting to get down, force yourself to think about something different.
Her Best Friend Is A Guy - AskMen
Take control of your life. One of the hardest parts about rejection or not being with the person we care about is the feeling of helplessness it can create. Take control back from that feeling of helplessness by taking charge of your life and your actions. Make healthy choices to double up on the positivity gained through taking charge of your life. Choose to eat better, go for a run or something else that benefits you.
Open yourself up to new romantic opportunities. Once you are feeling more like yourself again, it may be time to get back on the dating scene. Try to meet some new people and even go on some dates. While you may not find the right person right away, you may find that you enjoy the process and the opportunities it presents. Making some new friends could do just fine. Dude I take mental health issues seriously.
Like I said grew up with a sister with bipolar and I know how bad it can affect someone. Trust me when I say what she is going through is nothing compared to what my sister was like 10 years ago. I get she has mental health issues and I have known for years. So do I before this stuff happened we were helping each other out with it when she she was in Texas.
I get the stress of the move and and job search and having no way to contact people like me probably is what is causing this. I get massive anxiety attacks from the old job I just quit so I could focus on school. Been there done that and I can tell you that my feeling is that it will not proceed any further then friends, if even that is salvage. Can't wish upon rainbows, man..
If she wanted it to happen, it would be happening. Her excuse was just that, a way to let you down easy, it was not as the movie quote goes code for, "try harder". Flip it and think about how you would let down a women friend that you had no interest in. Hurts, but you have to accept that, go through whatever you have to, and move on.
There will be other loves in your life. Well for the letting a girl down I would not be saying we can discuss this when I get back or even agreeing that you are ok to go on a date. I would tell her I am not interested. She never did that.
She did the above. I was making a point as to how people let others down, not the exact wording. Regardless of how you do it, that is how she did it, that is how a great many women do it. You need to stop searching for excuses and look at the reality here. You also need to learn from this, and next time you have feelings for a woman, act on them when you have them.
But how could I when she was not in the country? Has she been out of the country for 8 years?
Her Best Friend Is A Guy
Guy, I'm trying to help you here. You need to let it go. Actually she was for a time previously of around a year and when disappeared for a bit it was nearly 2 years. She disappeared due to a massive depression and did not want anyone to see her, We reconnected back she was on this current Texas trip that lasted longer then planned.
Every time she was supposed to come back a delay would happen. The other 2 years at first were were working the same job and then she quit and we would occasionally hang out but we could never really get a chance to hang out too much as I was working nights but we would talk all the time.
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She disappeared right when I was about to ask her out at that time. During that entire time I was not pinning for her. The feelings came back like 6 months after we reconnected.
Edited on January 31, at DoctorDoom Send a private message. The best way to get out of the friendzone is to never put yourself in the friendzone to begin with. You are more than a day late, and more than a dollar short.